The red has been identified. I repeat: the red has been identified. Crown moulding for the dining room has been purchased. This weekend I will be a crazed woman with my coping miter saw and a step ladder. Have tools, will beat you with them. Get back, Loretta.

I’m sick. Leave me alone. Unless you have good drugs. Then you can come visit.

This weekend was fine, at least I’m not looking back at it now thinking: “what the hell did I do with it”?

Friday the Boss Man sprung me early. Hallelujah! After sitting in traffic that seemed to mock my speedy departure, I had my toes and fingers done. It all proved pointless, however; because I ruined them over the course of the weekend. Friday night I went and had some tasty cartilage-free-BBQ with Jonathan, Steve, Kyle and Tommy. Following that we saw Pirates of the Caribbean. Decent. Really, decent. I mean it.

Saturday morning we christened Kyle’s Land Rover. Allow me to elaborate and present to you that by “we” I mean Kyle and I, because, as usual, Anderson pussed out. Afterwards we enjoyed a very fine southern, artery-clogging breakfast (mmmm bacon dragged through syrup) and I ran errands. Shall I detail this by including my dry-cleaning bill? I wrapped the day swinging at petite ivory dimpled balls at Trophy Club. The best part: driving the cart. Hells yeah. I have an unhealthy love of golf carts.

Sunday I slept in a little since Anderson pussed out on riding (surprise). Please note that he redeemed himself later in the day by putting clipless pedals on my bike. Sunday was “wall to wall sunshine” as Kevin would say, and, as an ode to the Kev-Star, I rode for 2 hrs listening to Nick Drake. Total wildlife count: 4 squirrels, 2 chipmunks, one bunny rabbit and one snake.

The boys more or less behaved on Tuesday, so I’m left with no great tales to spin. Kyle did manage to hurt someones feelings without really having to try, but that’s nothing to write home about. Needless to say, we ingested mass quantities of frozen and carbonated adult beverages and ended the evening with significantly less currency in our bank accounts. Photos will be available as soon as Anderson pulls his head out and sends them to me.

In the meantime, you’re probably scratching yourself wondering how we all know each other. One of our more frequently asked questions. Entertain yourself by viewing the Six Degrees of John Anderson.

…MUCH later in the day…here are the pictures from Kyle’s b-day. These were taken during Part 1 of the evenings adventures. There will be no documentation about Part 2. Take what I give you and shut your pie hole.

Why is Steve the only one not smiling?, not sure what’s going on here, but everyone appears to be listening to Jonathan, mid-chew…nice…thanks for that, Beth with a pretty smile and me being and idiot, most of the group following dinner (the wusses left early)

Tomorrow is Kyles birthday. Yesterday, he bought himself a Land Rover Discovery II.

Tonight: Twisted Taco. I’m sure someone (I’m not saying who) will get tanked and make and ass out of themselves. I’m also sure there will be photographic evidence posted here tomorrow…

Today, instead of going home at 3 with the 10,000 other employees of the company that were let out early; I stayed. Not a big deal b/c I love my boss and my job.

Later that night: I’m sitting here watching Will Farrell give a speech at the Harvard 2003 Commencement ceremony. It’s some funny shit, but not nearly as entertaining as what I’d hoped for. Finding Nemo, on the other hand; that movie was a freaking riot. Yes, I know I’m a nerd.

If you want to watch Will give his schpeal click this and fast forward to around an hour and thirty minutes.