One of the constants in my life is that if I like a product you can pretty much put money on the manufacturer discontinuing it. It started after high school with a particular clothing garment that fit me perfectly. I bought the same item over and over until I went into Nordstrom one day and couldn’t find it. A few years later, I found one in a store in New York. Since then, I’ve had to move on.

In the years since that first major realization that the world does not, in fact, revolve around me; it’s happened with a multitude of items. Yogurt. Ice cream. Socks. Jeans. Hair products. Perfume. It actually happens quite a bit with food.

This tangent has been brought to you by a hair product I’ve used for the last 4 years: Dirt. Not the kind you sweep off the sidewalk, but a styling wax by Jonathan. Breaks my heart. Now I have to go find a new palmade that isn’t too gooey, too sticky, too perfumed. Wish me luck.

On a related PIMA note, I finally killed my iBook. Poor thing is barely a year old and it just quit. An estimated $300 later, it should be back and working in a week or so.

The good news? I bought all the toys it takes to play my iPod through my car stereo. It’s a little flakey at times due to the FM transmitter, but I think I’ll be happy with it. Thanks in no small part to Kyle for making it work.

What was life like before Tivo? This week I was able to watch all my shows without having to wait for summer repeats. When I turned the water on in the kitchen sink and missed dialog, I was able to rewind instead of saying “what did he say? WHAT DID HE SAY!???” Life is good.

If you’re Jamie Kellner, though, you’d tend to disagree. It’s an old story, but it’s finally starting to hit home now that I can skip commercials at 3 different speeds.

As it turns out, it’s likely that Tivo will wind up having a negative impact on the viewing American public in the long run. That is, if you subscribe to what Jamie presents here or here . You may not want to agree but I’ll be impressed if you can read it with an open mind and think seriously about the impact if what he suggests is true.

Of course, there are always voices on the other side of the argument, like this guy. Now I don’t mean to be a bitch here (comes naturally) but is there really any need to attack the character of a perfectly nice businessman by calling names? To me, that’s just covering up for not having a strong enough argument with DATA to back it up. But hey, I’m biased. I happen to like Jamie. Oh yeah, and I got over name calling when I moved to the big kid school without the swing set and teeter-totter.

On a totally unrelated note, help yourself to GoogleWhack and see what kind of damage you can do. Report back.

I’m tired. Come back tomorrow.

Again short on time…so let’s make today a vocabulary lesson.

Rice Cake – anyone or anything that is boring / bland / devoid of personality
Swan – Hot. “She’s so swan”
High Class Problem – Ex: having a party or event where too many people show

Tomorrow I’ll explain why I think you’re such an asshole.

Today, I share with you a classic. We call this $240 worth of pudding.
(watch the video here if you like, eps 106 & 108)

LeVon: It’s that time.
Barry: Aw, you know it’s that time.
LeVon: I’m Le Von.
Barry: And I’m Barry, Sagittarius.
LeVon: And it’s time, it’s time for two-hundred
Barry: and forty dollars
LeVon: worth of puddin’.
Barry: worth of puddin’.
LeVon: Aw yeah, Mr. Bouche, come on in here, and let’s get a shot of this puddin’.
Barry: Now that is the kind of puddin’ that only two-hundred forty dollars can buy.
LeVon: Aw yeah. We had the two-forty
Barry: (praying hands) we had to have the puddin’.
LeVon: Aw yeah. Now we could have bought, a hundred dollars worth of puddin’
Barry: (huge eyes) And that would have been, a lot of puddin’.
LeVon: Aw yeah, but we had to go all the way, baby.
Barry: All the way home.
LeVon: Uh huh. With two-hundred
Barry: and forty dollars
LeVon: worth of puddin’.
Barry: worth of puddin’.
LeVon: Aw yeah.
Barry: Now I know what you’re thinkin’
LeVon: “Barry and Le Von, where did you get two-hundred and forty dollars?”
Barry: (shake head and put finger to mouth) Shhhhhh.
LeVon: Aw yeah.
Barry: Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, baby
LeVon: It ain’t your concern.
Barry: Now if you excuse me, I gotta whisper some sweet nothings to this puddin’.
LeVon: I’ll just be over here, mindin’ my own.
Barry: (whispers)Oh baby, you know you got it goin’ on. Aw, you lookin’ so good, you lookin’ so right.
LeVon: Barry baby, Barry baby, you see what I got here
Barry: what have you got there?
LeVon: This is a box of puddin’, Barry
Barry: what does it say?
LeVon: It says “cook, and chill”
Barry: Aw yeah.
LeVon: and baby, that’s what I do every night. I cook, and then I chill.
Barry: (bump and grinding) Aw yeah.
LeVon: (bump and grinding) Aw yeah.
Barry: And chill!
LeVon: Yes sir! Barry, baby, I think it’s that time.
Barry: I think it’s time to do the deed.
(both whip off jackets)
LeVon: Aw yeah, here’s the moment you HAVE been waiting for.
Barry: Now if you, will excuse me while I kiss the sky.
LeVon: Aw yeah (both wiggle butts in mound of puddin’) Aw yeah!
Awww Yeah..baby

So my friend “Becky” has an unnatural love of LP’s. I’m not talking vinyl here, but rather little people.

New years eve as Amy aka “Tude” and I were reminiscing about our days at — we’ll call it — Innotech — we were suddenly inspired an item in my living room. Click here to read more how I made a little boys dream come true.

I’m writing this on Thursday because…well…read on.

OK, I’ve mentioned that I don’t cook, right? Old joke — can’t boil water, blah blah blah.

Well today I attempted to make a lunch that involved an appliance. Namely, the lunch was popcorn and the appliance a microwave. I realize that may not count as lunch to some of you, but that’s not the point.

It caught on fire. FIRE.

I set the thing for 4 minutes (shut up, that’s what the bag said to do!) and ran back to my office. When I went back in after 3 minutes some guy from graphics says “burning…popcorn…” in what can only be described as a Ralph Wiggum voice. If you don’t know what that sounds like, get someone nearby to slap you.

So he opens the nuker and hands me the steaming bag saying “hot…hot”. I lay the bag in the sink because I observe a black spot on the side and figure I’ll let it cool off and see how bad the damage is and if I’ll be able to salvage my “lunch”. Pull the corners. More steam. Wait a few seconds. More steam. When I say more I don’t mean >continued