Women today are fucked.

I’m serious. We’re burdened with diverse and confusing messages about what being a woman is.

The intricately choreographed dance whose steps are never performed with perfection challenges our psyches with chronic indifference daily.

Be independent without neglecting your vulnerabilities. Be assertive without being aggressive. Be polite and forgiving without allowing yourself to be walked upon.

You know, it’s not just our personal lives that displays this conflict; studies have shown that women in the workplace today make less money than their male counterparts. And before you go all Gloria Steinem on me, this has nothing to do with the feminist movement or burning your bra. There is one very brutally simple reason: women today (typically) don’t ask for what they want or what they need. We are programmed to be polite and yet we’re programmed to be strong and somehow jumbled up in our brainwashing is the message that because we are strong, independent women we don’t “need” anything and we certainly shouldn’t ask for anything. “Thanks, I’ll just have a sugar packet and a glass of water.”

Bullshit. I need a raise. I need to be taken care of. I need my space. I need sunshine and fresh air. I need to be considerate of my own feelings, and worry less about yours. Because guess what? I was probably subtle and kind and forgiving when I expressed myself the first time and you chose not to listen to my girl-speak. Men today just don’t seem to * get it * unless they’re wholloped across the chin and cheek with a hefty piece of timber.

As young girls we play tea party, catering even in youth to others and their happiness. In our suggestible years we’re trained to consider others feelings before our own, making sure everyone is happy.

Boys, on the other hand, are on the lawn playing football and crushing each other. Each one for himself, still focused on the good of the team and failing to carry hard feelings off the field.

So if I’m in touch enough tell you what I want or need, and you ignore my requests and then you wind up hurt as a result, who does that burden fall on?