I finally finally had enough time in my schedule for a run last night and it was perfection on legs. I glided across my dark city streets for an hour and a half, and this afternoon finds my body giggling madly at me. Life should never be too busy to run, I need to make some adjustments.

My knees are pretty sore which worries me a bit, that hasn’t happened since I was 19, living in San Jose and I blew one of them out on my bike. I wound up on a cane for 6 months and it mentally stained me enough to stay off the bike for the next 7 years. Speaking of which, I wonder where Dr. Danne is these days. Things soured when the administration found out about our dating and we quickly fell out of touch. Hm.

Arrived back home and finished cooling down about midnight, I was back up at 5:15 with enthusiasm that isn’t seen on the weekdays when the alarm sounds. Mission: coffee and get to Brownwood park just down the road by 6:15 to start setting up for the Bike Rally.

Tents up, signage hung and events organized right on time, the kids from the club arrived early and eager. The donned their shirts, helmets and bikes and had a hell of a time riding around the block, pushing it for all it was worth and being cheered along the way. This is how their lives should be.

Fresh up from a nap now following my collapse after the event, the last thing I have to offer is proper thanks to the Chris and the gang at Atlanta Pro Bicycle for their support as well a shout out to Tyler Grahovec and the boys from Pacesetter Steel Cycling who showed for the Fat Tire this morning and shined. Semi lame weather and a small field, but it was good enough for them and I’m stoked they came and rode. Cheers Tyler, thanks for saying “hi”.

My site scraped its knee about 2pm yesterday, prompting a deluge of contact from you readers - thanks. I know I’m your drug of choice and you know I hate to withhold your fix. Kissy boo!

I was right there with ya, kids, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do but wait for a fix of my own. What better then, but to return to my originally scheduled programming: a manicure and pedicure with a friend followed by dinner with an altogether different friend. I am fully aware that you were sitting in front of your machines feverishly punching F5 while the detox sweat raged out of your flesh. I assure you - distraction always is the best course of action when you can’t have what you really want.

The DC hosted a healthy mix of music from the 80’s including at least one diddy for which I couldn’t remember the name of the artist (Berlin), delightful spring temperatures and a suspiciously low bug count. The predictably/terminally snotty waiter I always seem to get strapped with was even bearable while he delivered scrumptious edimame, lousy Mongolian dog and blatantly admired my strikingly handsome, witty, charming company. At one point he even stood at the table next to us, strategically located himself and threw a very sassy hip-out pose that rivals any moves I saw in Zoolander in an effort to entice my companion. In the end I think it was the broad shoulders, narrow hips and Buddy Holly glasses that lost the game for him. Then again, maybe it was the fact that he had a penis.

Who could really blame my sassy little server? I mean just look at those eyes! You know what they say about the size of a blown up dinner companions…er…nose.

My darling Atlanta based readers, the time has come for you to set forth from this great nation and…oh wait. Sorry, wrong schpeal.

This weekend my girl Stinky-D (Amanda) is coordinating the Brownwood Bike Rally benefiting the East Atlanta Kids Club. The EAKC is a nonprofit mentoring and enrichment program for at-risk children ages 7 to 12 who live in East Atlanta, a rapidly growing intown neighborhood. I’ll be up at the crack of dawn Saturday helping her out, and you should be there too. If for no other reason than the line below in all caps:

I’m totally consumed with staffing volunteers for the kids club bike rally on 5/21 that Maigh is so graciously helping with! If she hasn’t already hit you up I need a breakdown crew and THERE WILL BE BEER!! Sat, 5/21, Brownwood Park in East Atlanta, breakdown from 1-3pm.

Can’t go wrong with that, can you? You need to get off your ass anyway and do something good for the community. If you’re interested in helping out or the guilt has finally brought you to your breaking point, shoot me an email: maigh@maigh.com. And precious, please use an appropriate subject line so I don’t think it’s spam and delete it.

Alright ladies, allow me to explain my blog.

At one point, back in the day - it was a painful and lame on-line diary of events. “Today I washed my hair. The end.” If you have the tragic misfortune to read the archives, you’ll witness this and the susequent evolution where I slowly and painfully transitioned to a type of confession on-line, pouring my heart out for you to read and swallow whole. Choke on it.

In between and beyond, it carries shadows of both. If nothing else, it’s a constant cop out to answering friends IM’s and emails of “how are you”? The answer? Read my blog, then read it again and ask strategic questions.

I’m lazy. And a bitch.

Good morning, sweetheart.

Have you had your tit squished in a vice today? No? That’s too bad…I have!

Ladies, check yourselves regularly. Men, help your ladies.

My report for this go ’round follows. I’m not sure why, but I always find the lumps in the right one and never the lumps in the left one. Maybe it’s because I’m left handed - who can say for sure? So the one I found on the right was suspicious and the one they found in the left was harmless. We went ahead and aspirated the one on the right because she couldn’t tell if it was “a cyst, a gunky cyst or a mass”. It was a cyst and all is right with the world minus a little soreness, the emotional whoosh and the addition of a strategically placed band-aid. Twelve full months (touch wood) until you have to hear a related story - yipee!

Listening to (burned compilation):
The Walkmen – Thinking of a Dream I Had
Earlsmart – The Hidden Track
The Delgados – Keep on Breathing
Citizen Cope – Hurricane Waters
Arcade Fire – Neighborhood #3
Autolux - Here Comes Everybody
Beastie Boys – Triple Trouble
Beck – E-Pro
Boyksopp – Eple
Air – Run
Doves – There Goes the Fear
Travis – Side
Wilco – Heavy Metal Drummer
The Beta Band – Dry the Rain
Jack Johnson – Banana Pancakes
Zero 7 – In the Waiting Line
Manu Chao – Merry Blues
Film School – PS

Mary Jac was good enough to cut most of my mop off last night, and I finally feel myself again. I hate hair.

I don’t know about you, my wee tadpole, but there’s almost nothing I love more on a Monday morning than taking my time to get ready for work (including one loooong pep talk and subsequent attitude adjustment) than walking down to my car and finding it’s been broken into…again.

This the fourth break in and the fourth time they’ve realized there’s nothing to take. Mind you it’s not technically a break in because it’s a Wrangler and I leave it unlocked (duh, because there’s nothing to take) but they still have to work a smidge in order to jimmy open the center console. This morning it looked like the console threw up, the contents in a messy heap on the passenger seat — CD’s, napkins on which Amy and I wrote out our “Operation Big Bird” plan 4 years ago, a few pairs of sunglasses, the remote for the stereo, lanyards and passes from events gone by. It continues to baffle me that they don’t take the finger puppets, the Manilow CD or the handcuffs.

Any way you look at it, the following items are not in my car: a bottle of Night Train, a bag of weed, a vile of cocaine or a half a dozen crack rocks. That said, what do they want? From the looks of things, they tried awfully hard to get at the owners manual and service receipts in my glove box. Maybe they used to be accountants.

It’s a shame they totally overlooked the big prize - there’s a very sharp suit in a box on the back seat that’s been waiting to go back for a week now (wrong size) - they totally could have ganked that and picked up a fracking job so maybe, just maybe they wouldn’t have to violate anyone else ever, ever again.

Say your prayers little ones. It’s only a matter of time before Steve-O and I go and pick up that shotgun I’ve been wanting. No, I’m not kidding.

The other side of life is so bright I have to put my hand up as an impromptu visor. When I arrived at my office this morning there was a FedEx package in my chair, the contents of which made me giggle furiously. A gift in the form of a Limited Edition shirt (15 of 200) had been sent to me. On it is this cartoon:

Balance, it’s all in the balance. Thanks to Codie for keeping it real and bringing me back to my happy place.

I’m watching a giant and playful 2 year old pup for a friend who went to Hilton Head to golf for the weekend. Maya is a jumper and a nipper - two things I don’t find acceptable behavior characteristics in dogs. See also: The Lip Story in Best Of to the right. Just the same, she’s a sweet girl who holds a special place in the heart of a man I respect deeply. I let her quirks slide.

Maya misses her dad.

When I went by at lunch to play with her, she was mellow and behaved unlike what I’d seen previously. She didn’t jump, she minded me when I asked her to sit, she plopped herself down for me to rub her belly. She’s used to having someone home with her most of the day, and I could swear I saw her bottom lip quiver as she stared through the fence at me when I pulled out of the drive.

The return after work was different. She’d brought a good portion of the outdoors back in with her via the doggie door, and had eaten a pen he’d left on the fireplace with a pad of paper. OK. I changed my clothes and we went for a little walk, which was challenging because she’s one of those dart-in-front-of-you-while-on-a-leash dogs who also doesn’t know what to do when a car drives by. We spent half an hour working on “heel” as well as working up a sweat and she seemed to have it down by the time I left to run a few errands.

When I got back, she’d eaten the pad of paper. Given that for no identifible reason I didn’t get to sleep until 2am yesterday morning, I’m positive this was a test.

Hmmmm. I wonder what she’ll have for me this morning.