Darlings I should warn you – eating with me can be an adventure, because for many years the buds that live on the pink slab in my mouth lacked a sense of…adventure. In my formative years I was wafer thin and many nights with concern for my well being my mother would be found in the kitchen after our dinner had been served, making up another dish – that I would eat.

A few years ago I listed some of the new things I’d introduced to my feeding habits (part 1) (part 2), today I’ll list the items I can’t eat. Codie has the list on the back of a napkin in original form as documented over dinner last week.

Cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers make my heart hurt and my stomach turn.

Strawberries and “fruit at the bottom” yogurts make me gag. A neat party trick, and one I reserve for special occasions.

I’ve O.D.’d on egg rolls and shrimp, the sight/smell of either of those items nauseates me.

The hair you can see in mushrooms ensures I will never eat one.

What can I say? I’m Irish. I like meat and potatoes, I like salami and cheese sandwiches on white bread. I like milk with my meals and bacon dragged through maple syrup. Mmmmmm.

I’m hungry.