I chew my cheeks.

I’m not talking about the little nibble you give chapped lips or the seductive lip bite, I’m talking about facial contortion and sometimes even assistance from my hands to push my cheeks deeper into my mouth so my molars can really chomp down.

It’s a disgusting habit and I don’t remember when I started doing it, I only remember my mother started smacking me for it when I was in my early teens.

I recognize now, in my “later” years, that I’m more prone to do it when I’ve been chewing gum (rare) or drinking soda (rare), and still find myself in the semi-absent throws while driving or watching TV.

Yesterday I caught myself doing it during a meeting and Pavlov’s law was set in motion, a shadow snuck into the room, smacked my hand away from my face and a voice from the past scolded me.

I flinched at the memory, glanced quickly at the others in the meeting, dropped my head, gave a sly smile, and removed my hand.

I’ll always be the kid who chews her cheeks.