I came home last night after stopping to pick up dinner and threatened to myself (or no one in particular) that I’d eat, pay bills, and go to bed. I was thankful for the night with no plans, since The Cold has taken it’s toll. Of course, since I’m an idiot, I didn’t clear the social schedule and yield to the germ warfare.

I believe I made it worse.

Last night I skipped the bills, inhaled dinner, and went directly to bed. Twelve hours later – oatmeal, the morning news, and a sleep hang-over equals…
DUN DUN DUN picture day! [the audience deadpans]

When bad things happen to good Muppets.

Come here, my little monkey!

This place has POTENTIAL

You’re not going anywhere.

The funk in Grovers’ bowl was bothering me, so I got him a maid.

After dinner with Amy which was immediately followed by a walk with Kim, I moved Grover into his new digs. He’s been with me long enough now to warrant a swanky pad, don’t ya think?

Oh cupcake. What am I going to do with you?

Yesterday I was in the elevator making small talk with one of our fire systems maintenance people and while I’m stepping out he says “you know, you have quite a fan club. The guys I work with, you know. They’re big fans.”

I know he’s talking about the one who complimented me on my gray last week, who said “I have to commend you for going gray, it suits you.” He went on to tell me about his wife the beautician – 12 years his junior.

It was flattering, but uncomfortable. My client base is 99% male and I’ve come to understand what that means for the likes of me – the one female they come into contact with in the course of a day.

Office politics are a non-issue for me, my focus is on a more important item: what to do about clients who flirt or give you googly eyes.

I’ve taken to wearing a ring that resembles a wedding band on my right hand. This, coupled with my short hair and athletic build, seems to confuse them. I don’t wear make-up but I do wear Birks with socks. My quick wit and similar sense of humor tends to disarm them, it brings me to their level and I suddenly become one of the guys. Still, it’s there. It’s there because I’m friendly and approachable and I think of all people on the same level unless they prove themselves unworthy.

So tell me, what’s a girl to do?

I’m fighting cooties that kept me awake until 2am, unable to breathe and being forced to watch some of the Olympics, so this morning finds me apathetic. What better to adjust my attitude (and yours) than Kermie? Well, maybe not Paulie – because he’s a Muppet hater.

Listen to the MP3, then read the story and the lyrics.

Related comic thread starts here, if you must.

-Submitted by Bear.