I’m logged into IM most of the day, every day, though over the years (10+) I’ve grown wearing of being so available. I don’t particularly care to IM and am easily annoyed by those conversations, so in an attempt to dial it back some I recently purged said lists to a mere 145 contacts.  As the saying goes, that’s 145 too many.

One of my favorite past times also happens to be acting out with regards to my distain for being roped into non-essential conversations while working (or any other time, really), and this lends itself nicely my collection of “away” messages.

A few of my favorites:

100% Teflon.
FO
Oh, I see. You’re over compensating.
Do not slap the next person who asks you to do something.
I’m here, I just don’t want to talk to you.
I ate my crayon.
I’m not defensive, you are.
Not it.
No.
Short people are not furniture.
Suck it, Trebek.
Why can’t the voices in my head sing better songs?
You’re an idiot.
You say tomato, I say solanum lycopersicum.