The closest I’m coming to a costume this year is the huge pillow wrinkle down the right side of my face that resembles a scar.

Yarrrr.

My shit was jank for about the last 24 hours, I know. Nothing I could do to fix it, but here’s what I finally got from my host when they kissed the boo boo and made it all better:

Very sorry about that. The rotation on the logfile that’s affecting the cgi behavior was broken. That logfile got to be too big and the cgi processes couldn’t run. We took care of the problem and your site is loading fine again.

Let us know if you need anything else.

To which I responded “I love you!” knowing full well I didn’t mean it. Damn my stupid mouth.

PS Thanks as always to Dave for attempting to rescue me from myself

Falling back makes everything right again.

What’s the graph below telling me?
The middle line represents your biorhythm values at birth–zero. Cycles above that midpoint are positive, and cycles below the midpoint are negative. A critical day occurs when your biorhythm cycles cross the zero line on the ascent or descent. On critical days, performance in the affected cycles might be particularly poor–so watch out!

The Three Cycles:

Emotional Cycle: governs the nervous system, which is also called the “sensitivity rhythm”. For the Positive Emotional Stage, you will feel great creativity, lovingness, and warmth. Also, you will probably be more open in your relationships. For the Negative Emotional Stage, you’re inclined to feel withdrawn and less cooperative. You may also feel very irritated and negative about those things that occur in your daily life.

Physical Cycle: affects the physical aspect of the body, including your energy level, resistance, and overall physical strength and endurance. For the Positive Physical Stage, you will feel at your best. You will feel physically fit to work on projects requiring physical strength and endurance. For the Negative Physical Stage, you are likely to have less energy and less vitality. Be sure to follow this cycle if you require physical endurance for either sports or work.

Intellectual Cycle: believed to originate in the brain. For the Positive Intellectual Stage, you will be more intellectually responsive; you’re open to accepting and understanding new ideas, theories and approaches. For the Negative Intellectual Stage, you’re much more likely to have difficulty grasping new ideas and concepts.

My ebbs and flows aren’t unlike a class 4 rapid.

I’m tired again – not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Spent. Tired of giving and giving and giving and people taking and taking and taking.

Picking up the phone when it rings almost always results in a half-way sincere “Hey how are you? Let me tell you about ME…” which is fine on the whole because I care, but man there are days that the human race is just too fucking selfish and needy and I wonder why I keep ending up here.

I’m fighting a bit of a cold no doubt brought on by the body follows mind philosophy, so I worked from home most of the day yesterday. Seclusion in a warm place that didn’t involve fluorescents, where the people are just words on a screen and an X I can click to remove them from my day instead of a voice on a phone or a human at my desk. Me me me.

Now I’m just rambling and upon reflection, I’m no different from them.

After nagging The Mc for weeks on end about Amber and her excessive hair loss /weight problem/said weight impeding her ability to clean her own butt – he took her to the vet yesterday.

Sure, she’s a long hair, but when I vacuumed his house stem to stern a few weeks back to eradicate the hair, I’d hoped it would be a month or two before I saw tumbleweeds of fur rolling around the living room again. Hope springs eternal.

I don’t know anything about cats, really, but I suggested that she was malnourished and bulimic. She’d run to the dish when it was filled, inhale it all and barf half of it up a few minutes later.

Turns out I was right…so sayeth the vet.

She has some skin irritation no doubt due to having to be bathed once a week since she can’t clean herself, she’s overweight, and she needs oils.

One prescription for fish oil on food, an antibiotic, and prescription cat food later – I think we’re on our way to her being a happier, healthier kitty…and not making me crazy crazier. Whatever.

Ms. Mary Jac came by last night after a drive from the Nantahala and a stop to see the horses. We walked over to Johnny’s, grabbed some pie, went back to my place, chit chatted over an episode of Inside the Actors Studio and she left an hour later.

I’ve had a long couple of days and was about to hop into the shower then fall into bed when she rang from her car a few minutes after walking out the door.

“Yeah, my car was broken into. I’m glad you made me bring my purse in.”

Sonofa…

So they punched her window and pulled out the backpack that had been sitting in the rear seat. Ironic that it happened to be my green employee edition REI bag from 2 years ago that I loaned her when she went to Germany? Maybe. Also inside: Converse, a $100 hair dryer (it’s her job, yo), a new dress she bought for a date last week and some unmentionables.

I called a few neighbors to see if they’d heard anything (they didn’t), we called the PoPo (got the same guy I had) and the five of us huddled in the street grumbling about the state of affairs in the ‘hood while MJ made her report. As it turns out, hers was the 2nd car “the guy” had smashed in the last 20 minutes. Awesome.

I feel horrible that it happened, wretched that it was because she was visiting me and betrayed by my own neighborhood. It’s one thing to have vandalism take place at 2am, but we’re talking 8:30 on a Monday night, for Chrissakes.

I’ve gone from having pity and empathy for those who have to steal to feeling responsible and flat out angry and vengeful. I’m not a fan of those emotions, and the whole thing has me imagining some sort of Charles Bronson/Paul Kersey hybrid scheme where I park my Jeep on the street, then wait in the dark of our top balcony with a cup of tea, my iPod and a shotgun.