We all have that one monumental birthday that for unknown reasons hits us a bit harder than the others before it.
For some it’s the big 3-0, but for me it was this one. 34. I thought I’d be somewhere different, doing something different, and evolved in a different way by now.
The gray that was charming because of it’s premature arrival now shows my real age. The career I walked away from five years ago is lingering around like an ex who won’t stop calling.
I’m wondering when the cement hardened on my ways (I’m stuck in them), when I started attracting people who now seem to come out of the woodwork just to be mean and where the hell the last 34 years have gone. I’m wondering where the passion went for running and when the mission for a marathon/triathalon was replaced by a fight to pull myself out of bed in the morning.
Bah. Time to paint the living room.
21 Dec 06
10:59 am
I’ve noticed, too, that when I’m at the height of my game, when I feel I’m at a zenith, here they come. The ones that want to pull you down. Why is that? What’s the deal?
I have no great words for you. And everything else is cliche. Hold your chin up. Paint with a fury. No falling, please. And take stock in your good relationships. Take care today, Maigh. I’ll be sending some peaceful, happy vibes your way.
21 Dec 06
2:10 pm
In my experience, the closer you get to doing something truly life-changing, the more ghosts come out of the woodwork to tell you who you “are” and why you should stay that way. Your own mind does it, too, to keep you safe.
I’m grateful for all the things you’ve done in your 34 years because - good, bad, and unspeakable - they have made you who you are: feisty, funny, fiercely loyal, bold, creative and whole. So keep up the good work.
BTW, a thought about the gray hair: once you grow it out (if you grow it out), you are going to exactly look the same, age-wise, for the next forty years! Every time people see you, they will say, “You haven’t changed a bit!” I’m starting to get a bit of that now…it’s pretty cool.
Batface!
21 Dec 06
4:25 pm
Loose skin and old balls. Anderson did get you a present though:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA&mode=related&search
21 Dec 06
4:34 pm
Ya know Kylie, I did need a good hearty chuckle, and that did it. I can always count on you to be vulgar, or at least be kind enough to share the vulgar.
heh heh
21 Dec 06
4:38 pm
BTW, that in no way discounts the kindness of Tab and Jen…I needed those words, too.