He’s evacuated a closet as big as my condo and moved his bits to the “man closet”. He emptied a vanity drawer as if that’s enough space for perfumes and prescription skin care items and brushes and depilatory cream and make up I never wear. He woke up at 4am yesterday with the cat (who we now lovingly refer to as “firecrotch” on account of she’s a redhead) because she was playing with a mouse I gave her and he didn’t want me to wake up prematurely. He did the same at 5am this morning when her automatic crap catcher/cleaner-upper choked on poo and gave itself an anniurism. I’m officially not allowed to eat dessert on the couch because chocolate in my hands always winds up on the floor.
So we’re settling in while some near and dear are settling out. Existential and romantic crises are the crap de jour and I just want to hand them a stack of carefully selected titles, give them a hug and send them off to a cabin in the rolling hills of South Carolina with the advice: “don’t take it all too seriously, sweets…it’s only life…” knowing full well that never helped heal me even if it did comfort me some. That’s the trouble with love - it doesn’t always translate.
17 Apr 07
9:07 am
The air is fresh and smells clean in South Carolina. That’s all I’m sayin’.
17 Apr 07
9:11 am
smells like Pepsi in the carolinas … devil juice
17 Apr 07
9:24 am
Jack is awesome
17 Apr 07
9:27 am
I wish I could squint like Jack, so in meetings I could quietly intimidate people.
17 Apr 07
9:51 am
You mean not everyone else mocks Jack too? How can this be?
17 Apr 07
10:07 am
how can anyone mock a man who has given everything of himself to defend this country from all sorts of non-caucasion types? his use of torture should be basic training at CIA Summer Camp.
17 Apr 07
10:19 am
I do believe the first time Jack saved us it was from a caucasian.
17 Apr 07
2:13 pm
Try watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition with me. I hate you Ty Pennington and all your fake little friends who force a cry every week and say “We really need to help these people!” then get in piss and moan matches over hanging a door or emotions or whatever.
My birthday wish this year is that in the next season of 24, Jack discovers that Ty Pennington is a terrorist and he proceeds to torture him and all his little dwarfs until they bleed out of their eyeballs.
17 Apr 07
6:52 pm
Well this post should be in mushy, but I think the comments have moved far from that happy place.
18 Apr 07
2:35 am
This got me laughing. Thanks.
ps - your handwriting is awesome. I thought your signature, er.. signature was a clever font.
18 Apr 07
8:54 am
Hey - are you knitting up there? That’s cute! Congrats on the cohabitation move.
18 Apr 07
4:21 pm
Try counting how many times Jack says “Dammit” in a hushed tone per episode. It’s quite fun.
19 Apr 07
10:16 am
@ Kelly - it’s shocking. These are also people who do not heart cheezeburger. :\
@ Kyle - totally not surprised by that.
@ ETK - thanks for noticing
@ Rowdy - try, I shall. If I can bear to watch again.