We’ve come to the conclusion that The Big House was planted atop an untapped iron deposit.
Sitting high on a hill that pops up out of nowhere, The Big House is part of an intimate neighborhood surrounded by large trees and sweeping views of a broccoli like forresta. It’s also just a smidge above the houses on either side, all of which converges at once to make said casa one. big. lightning rod.
In the past few years, The Mc has lost the following items to the wrath of the sky bolts: one expensive thingie that runs the jets in the jumbo tub, one giant TV it took two guys to move, one play station that crushed his nephews, one computer, and one garage door - twice.
Just a few short weeks after paying someone to come repair the mechanical bits of the right side garage door, she got capped again. Results: one broken door and a good deal of swearing and cursing the house that’s clearly already cursed.
Summary: this Mother-Nature-is-pissed shit is getting expensive. Were the past strikes recog-retaliation for the wooden hangers, or is she really just that anxious for me to set up a rain barrel?
PS I love my friends and I love pie!
29 Jun 07
4:33 pm
If you could only find some way to get the house up to 88mph at the moment of the next lightning hit, you could zap it to a future where IKEA issues cards (only after a training period), genetically modified trees bear man-hanger shaped fruit, and the Mc’s neighborhood is of course… child free.
29 Jun 07
5:55 pm
Brilliant!
I’ll begin drawing up plans immediately. Which really means I’ll push it off to The Mc, b/c he was the physics major. No, seriously.
02 Jul 07
2:41 pm
Is there something an electrician can do? I know they make these fancy outlets that are supposed to product your electric goodies.
Maybe a Steel Rod that is higher than the house can be placed a few feet from the house and buried about 10 feet as a ground. Then you can harness the power and not have to pay for those carbon credit for the hangers.
02 Jul 07
5:05 pm
I believe Tulio is on to something. What did you do with all the wire hangers that you replaced with big-boy ones? Perhaps you can make them into a lightning rod using your Mad Knitting Skillz.
03 Jul 07
8:31 am
I beat orphans and puppies with them, of course. Duh.
04 Jul 07
8:24 pm
You may already have this on the house but what about a lighting rod? I grew up in the south with its frequent lightning storms and ours ran from the roof into the backyard. We even added sand around the grounding area when we were kids to get cool lightning glass.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightning_rod
05 Jul 07
7:52 am
@ Lance: interesting that you should say that. I’ve suggested it and asked “remind me how much your deductible is” since he’s clearly lost a metric shit load of gizmos and gadgets and what not. Alas, she shrugs me off and spent an hour yesterday in the basement tracing wires. Maybe it’s the physics thing that makes him secretly excited that shit keeps breaking, so he can find out how it works and fix it?
None the less, I’ve submitted a request for a bid from a local company to install a rod (no snickering, kids!) so we’ll see. Great minds!
09 Jul 07
12:09 pm
Update: http://tinyurl.com/3cwsfx
24 Nov 08
11:49 am
[...] aka The Big House was lovely, it was far removed from the city - my city - and my friends. It was a lightning magnet in a land of SUV’s and fifteen minute trips to the closest grocery store. That’s [...]