The last thing I won was a super superlative in 8th grade as “most energetic”, so you can imagine my confusion when @HamWithCam twittered last week shortly after my departure from an Atlanta Photography meet-up that I’d won a prize.

I was only there long enough to say a few hellos and enjoy a cocktail before I had to run out the door for a friends debut art showing at a library downtown. He’d been working with various mediums – photos, contact sheets, paper, ink, oils – for years. For years and hanging some in his house, leaving a good bit out of sight where he’d work on it in private as he examined his own psyche.

The risk he took putting himself out there nearly gave me an anxiety attack. He decided he was going to do it, reached out and let himself float into the unknown. I watched him with awe in the weeks between the decision and the reality and was dizzy and inspired. I’ve thought about/wanted to/couldn’t do/too scared over a dozen times out here right before your eyes…you’ve watched me want and you’ve watched me turn to stone.

How ironic then, that the prize (I’m still fairly sure @HamWithCam somehow manipulated) given to me by APE is free entry to display my work in a booth at an upcoming show. Ham has been trying to encourage me for months – every time I see him he gently nudges with supportive words and information on how to make it happen but again I’m paralyzed: not good enough/not enough time/too much.

Well, at least one of those excuses has now been officially removed from my path. Entry fee paid, space allocated. Here we go, grab your parka.