I’m starting to get greedy in my old age.

Maybe greedy isn’t the right word – maybe hoarding. Fiscally conservative. Bitter.

I was thinking this morning about how I shouldn’t have to pay taxes that go to schools. I don’t have kids, I’m not going to have kids, so why am I paying for schools?

The argument that pedestrians shouldn’t have to pay for interstate maintenance is equally valid, though far more silly and not a true apples to apples comparison/argument.

That said, I can see the value in schools and their educating the little people already in surplus. More educated children with bright futures = less aholes breaking into my car or my friends houses. Right?

So okay. If you won’t vote for a tax break for me based on non-consumption, then how about this: how about a yearly dividend rewarding me for not having children?

I’m a contributing tax paying citizen, not using the playgrounds, schools or government subsidized after school programs. No children = no little people bringing home germs = me not calling in sick nearly as much as colleagues with children. I’m also not putting an additional strain on the food chain, producing an extra large carbon footprint hauling LP’s to and from soccer/gymnastics/therapy. I’m not disposing of thousands of diapers, I’m not sitting next to you in a restaurant ruining a meal, and I’m certainly not going to be falling back on any government funded health care or food stamps for my 1:many children.

So…how about a little somethin’ somethin’, you know, for the effort?

This post has 8 comments.

  1. muskrat
    17 Aug 09
    5:24 pm

    Good luck with that. We don’t use the local gov schools, either, despite paying shit-tons of prop tax each year.

  2. Maigh
    17 Aug 09
    5:37 pm

    It’s good to have dreams…right?

  3. I boil over every time I get my tax bill from DeKalb and they go to pains to tell me that the vast majority of money I pay in Property Taxes go to schools.

  4. If your blog had a “Like” button I certainly would have pressed it today.

  5. Evan
    18 Aug 09
    8:52 am

    So I suppose that the rich should stop paying for welfare and medicaid? For police stations because there’s no crime in their neighborhoods? Lower prices for water and sewer because there aren’t syringes and bandanas clogging up the grates? Public libraries for kids who can’t read anyhow?

    Consider the pot stirred!!!

    Long live TATTOPITW

    I see your point, but I think that other people’s kids would still be your primary concern, even if you did have kids of your own. Your kids would probably be good, because you’re a reasonable person who wouldn’t fall asleep drunk watching Shamwow commercials while your kids had to fix their own dinner. Your taxes give them a chance to not do that all over again, which makes you a little safer, the world a little better, and gives us more ideas for movies like that one Michelle Pfeiffer was in where the Coolio song was played like 600 times.

  6. vcSlim
    18 Aug 09
    3:49 pm

    My hope is that school taxes (no kids here either) provides enough education in order for the students to get jobs and fund social security.

  7. Kayron
    20 Aug 09
    4:44 pm

    If you find out how to get a refund, let me know where to sign up.

  8. Kyle
    11 Sep 09
    11:26 am

    “So I suppose that the rich should stop paying for welfare and medicaid?”

    I agree, we should stop paying for those services.

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