51.
51 posts. In 2009, I watched this blog crash and burn.
I started this damn thing nearly ten years ago. TEN YEARS. Back then I was writing up posts in Notepad (light coding, mind you) and FTPing up static files. I converted to Blogger. I later converted to WordPress, and spent hours in a bar with Dave and Paulie helping me fix things that broke during the move.
Somewhere in there I met The Mc, continued to heal in grueling, Kleenex abusing weekly therapy sessions, and subsequently found myself with less time to write and less things I needed to purge.
I counted a few weeks ago and found I’d only written/posted 51 times last year, as opposed to an average of 300+ in the years prior.
Unsure of what 2010 holds, I’m still thinking about the blog. I’m thinking about and missing writing, I’m thinking about and missing the things that used to make me write. I’m also thinking about all the effing self-censoring I’ve been doing that has stood in the way of writing. Oh, but the list of excuses goes on and on: the cats won’t let me sit without wanting to be petted, that I’d rather be with The Mc than write/run/walk/justaboutanythingconstructive. Twitter and Facebook which mean a shift in thinking complete coherent thoughts to thinking in 140 character summarizations. Then there’s the other mostly secret blog I’m keeping about the big thing in our life I’m still not allowed to talk about. There’s watering the plants. Doing laundry. Running errands.
Meh.
This year, despite being off to a contradictory start, I’m going to try to do better.
For me.
30 Jan 10
6:30 pm
I totally enjoy your writing, so keep it up. Also like that you admit that you think your stuff is boring (i disagree), that you needed help migrating to WordPress (I think bloggers are sometimes too scared to admit that they don’t know everything about making all this Social Media crap work together), and that you self-censor.
and now i am dying to know about the secret.
Way to hook me in.
31 Jan 10
11:03 pm
Even though I love reading your blog, and check often to see if there’s anything new… eff all of us. You DO what makes YOU happy, sweetie. We’re just all along for the ride. I think it says something good that you are having a good time and have fun stuff to do! And, if you have a free minute, let us know about that fun stuff, that’s all.
Everyone in the world, including that great sage Anon, have been credited with the quote, but dammit, it’s true: “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body—but rather a skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, “Wow, what a ride!”
I don’t know, maybe I’m not making sense – I still struggle with expressing myself through writing the way you do… I guess I see less here is more out there, or something.
Um, San Dimas High School football rules!
03 Feb 10
12:25 pm
and we missed you too.
i found that my blog has suffered as well, although i ain’t been at it as long as you have. and i haven’t honed my writing skills as well as you have either, my dear. you have a gift; don’t let it go to waste.
and screw the self-censoring. people need to grow thicker skins.
03 Feb 10
10:19 pm
looking forward to hearing about what we can’t hear about yet!!! Love you… K*