Because I love you.

The pork:
One picnic butt, sprinkle generously with garlic salt and black pepper, then slather with high end bbq sauce and put in the crock pot on low for 9 hours.
Shred after cooking by pulling with two forks in opposite directions.

The slaw:
One bag of packaged cole slaw
One freshly squeezed lime
1/4 c. mayo
1/4 c. sugar (in the raw)
1/4 c. cider vinegar (or a little less depending on how much you get out of the lime)
1/4 c. diced pickled jalapeños (jarred, with juicy goodness)
Mix sugar and wet ingredients until sugar dissolves, then mix in slaw and jalapeños.
Let it get happy in the fridge for at least 30 mins.

The tacos:
Soft taco shells
Dampen paper towel, put on plate, layer damp towel per taco shell with one damp towel on top.
Nuke for approx 20 seconds.

Optional:
Fresh cilantro, finely chopped
Drizzling of bbq sauce not used in cooking

Assemble, devour, send me a thank you gift.

A friend of mine with a generous spirit recently donated to our local NPR station, WABE. The donation wasn’t enough to warrant receipt of a stainless steel coffee tumbler, but instead an evening with Lynne Rossetto Kasper.

For those who haven’t yet been properly introduced, Lynne is the host of NPR’s The Splendid Table, during which she speaks of food with such a passion, with such colorful words and such dreaminess in her voice that you find yourself in love with the items she’s describing.

Callers ring into the show with questions surrounding a surplus of an item or soliciting new ideas for an old favorite and Lynne greets each of them with a calm gusto I lack the words to describe.

After a lovely chat with WABE Sr. VP and General Manager John Weatherford and his lovely bride, and a ten minute (!!!) chat with Lynne herself, we were seated.

Lynne read the menu and improvised, causing my friend to lean in and whisper “I need to take her to lunch with me every day. Imagine what she could do to a Chik-fil-a menu…”

Indeed.

The meal was a fancy 5 courses number, delightfully and appropriately preceded by light delicious apps and free flowing wine. There was one that involved bleu cheese on a gingersnap but I was still so high from my conversation with Lynne I’d forgotten it almost instantly.

Course 1 – Classic Caesar Napoleon of brioche crouton, filet of romaine heart, aged parmesan frico, salt cured anchovy and quail egg.

It was fine right up until Kim double dog dared me to eat the anchovy. *shudder*

Course 2 – Chef’s choice seasonal fresh fruit sorbet intermezzo. It was so delightful, I don’t remember what the hell fruit it was.

Course 3 – Main entree: Thyme seared petit lamb chops and crab cake Napoleon severed with truffled asigo potatoes, grilled white asparagus tips and broccoli-rapini and finished with demi glace.

Good, not great. My lamb was over cooked, but there was a sweet spot on the potato that nearly sent me to the moon. Looking over my shoulder, I could see Lynne’s chop was cooked perfectly.

Course 4 – Cheese course: brie, 18 month aged gouda, manchego, aged white cheddar and gorgonzola blue. Present but not mentioned: strawberry, fig, and an unidentifiable brown object.

Course 5 – Desert: study in apple. Dried cranberry and apple crisp in micro hazelnut torte shell, vanilla bean crème brulee stuffed roasted apple cup, cinnamon apple fritter with bourbon crème anglaise.

Topping it off: the rest of my wine followed by French Italian (!?) dark roast decaf.

For me, it wasn’t about the food entirely: it was about Lynne and her contagious spirit and passion. It was about spending quality time with a friend sharing a perfectly imperfect cliché riddled once in a lifetime experience.

You can buy Lynne’s book The Splendid Table’s How to Eat Supper: Recipes, Stories, and Opinions from Public Radio’s Award-Winning Food Show
By Lynne Rossetto Kasper, Sally Swift via this nifty link.

As for scoring dinner with Lynne? Cough up some change during the next pledge drive, you never know what surprise fringe benefit you’ll get out of it.

I enjoy adventure, new places, unexpected interactions, and experimenting with the unknown. Given the opportunity, I’ll happily hop on a plane alone, head to a strange land and wander around by myself. The strange excites me.

In contrast, strange foods do not excite me.

It’s been nearly four years since I tried wings, sushi, blue cheese, BBQ, cole slaw and Thai. That was a lot of new stuff in a six month span, so I stagnated. I still refuse to eat mushrooms. Cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers continue to make me hurt.

Given the time that’s elapsed since by burst of bravery, and at the nudging of one particular gal-pal, I’m embarking on new food adventures.

She had me try Greek again, since my memory of trying it a few years previous during Lent wasn’t suburb. What!? Those grape leaf things look like turds. I was able to shove the memory earlier trauma to a place in my mind that allowed me to order and be optimistic. Perhaps the wine helped, but much to my surprise: I enjoyed it. Make-it-yourself-at-the-table-with-a-mortar-and-pestle hummus loaded with garlic, spanakopitakia, and lamb kabob with a glass of Bridlewood syrah…not all bad. Bonus points for the belly dancer, even if I was a little uncomfortable about her shimmies while B, R and I made polite conversation. Then again, it could have been jealousy from my not finishing the class I took three years ago. Super bonus points for the women who got up on tables, and the handfuls of napkins being thrown as voices joined in belting out “opa!”.

Yesterday I roped my unwitting colleagues into accompanying me to try Indian, where they laughed at my feeble attempts to not only pronounce things but to remember what I was supposed to order. The bright side? I took a picture.

You’re welcome.

Next on the list:
- Thai, but something more adventurous than Pad Thai
- Vietnamese again (tried last year and it didn’t go horribly…except that OJ/milk thing. *shudder*)
- Ethiopian (for Kelly)

What else should I be trying?

Unrelated note: new web obsession / laugh till I cry inspiration.

That is all.

I’ve quit the 2nd job just in time for a dentist visit this morning that ran me $130 AFTER insurance. Thanks for that. What else? Two additional appointments in the next two months that will run another $300 after insurance.

I love insurance. I do not love flossing.

Sing it with me now: they call me yuck mouth…

So sexy.

Day 2 – Wednesday, March 7
Weight: 131 / Goal: 120 / Lost: 3
Consumed: 2 cups of coffee, two bowls of Special K with honey and 2% (breakfast & dinner), one green apple with peanut butter, one small plate of s’ghetti
Exercise: None. In bed and asleep at 7:30

Taking my cue/inspiration from Paulie and in attempt to shame myself into submission, I’ve decided to include my daily dietary intake and exercise efforts at the tail of each entry until the muffin top has been eradicated. Extinguished. Erased.

Luckily, I’m starting this little confessional project a day after the Girl Scout Cookies arrived at the office. If I’d written this yesterday I’d have had to confess to eating a box of Somoas for dinner. What.

I was half dressed when I remembered to step on the scale in my led lined bra and britches this morning, so if we subtract 5 pounds for garments and vanity – well – the digital display still showed a number far greater than the 117 I’m used to seeing when I look down.

So without further adieu, the first ever installment of The De-Fatassing of Maigh aka Operation Muffin Top

Day 1 – Tuesday, March 6
Weight: 134 (without subtracting anything) / Goal: 120 / Lost: Zilch
Consumed: 2 cups of coffee, 1 baggie of vending machine trail mix, 1 glass of red wine, 1 pork chop, 1 salad, 2 scoops of chocolate yogurt ice cream stuff and a fraction of my daily water allotment.
Exercise: How many calories does knitting while watching a tivo’ed episode of 24 burn?

I’m hungry.

Friday night I had salad for dinner. Saturday morning I got up early and dragged The Mc to a hot yoga session (God love him, that poor boy). I made fruit salad and some healthy(ish) eggs for breakfast with oatmeal bread. The crazy psuedo healthy behavior continued until last night.

Home from 6 hours of work/on my feet, I plopped down on the couch, flipped between the Grammy’sOscars and Law & Order, and shoved my face full of chips slathered in a Velveeta & salsa concoction.

So lethal and so damn tasty.

Operation Drop the Happy Pounds starts over this morning with a damn smoothie and the gym at lunch.

Grumble grumble.