I’m even wearing pigtails to complete the cheeresqueness.

Full report tomorrow, meanwhile feel free to stroll down mammary lane (sorry, had to) and visits in 2005 and 2006 …then go check yourself and/or a loved one.

~ One in eight women or 12.6% of all women will get breast cancer in her lifetime.
~ Breast cancer risk increases with age and every woman is at risk.
~ Every 13 minutes a woman dies of breast cancer.
~ Seventy-seven percent of women with breast cancer are over 50.
~ In 2000, it was estimated that approximately 1400 cases of breast cancer were diagnosed in men and 400 of those men will die.
~ More than 1.7 million women who have had breast cancer are still alive in the United States.
~ Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in women between the ages of 15 and 54, and the second cause of cancer death in women 55 to 74.
~ Risks for breast cancer include a family history, atypical hyperplasia, delaying pregnancy until after age 30 or never becoming pregnant, early menstruation (before age 12), late menopause (after age 55), current use or use in the last ten years of oral contraceptives, and daily consumption of alcohol.
~ Early detection of breast cancer, through monthly breast self-exam and particularly yearly mammography after age 40, offers the best chance for survival.
~ Ninety-six percent of women who find and treat breast cancer early will be cancer-free after five years.
~ Over eighty percent of breast lumps are not cancerous, but benign such as fibrocystic breast disease.

There are days it takes everything I have to get out of bed.

There are days that a 3 mile loop and 350 feet can heal me.

So it’s up at 5am and off to the eye doctor for our second installment of dun dun DUN Maigh’s Eyeball Adventures.

Update: I’m still the best thing that ever happened to an eye patch.

This weekend while I was out hugging trees and clearing brush with a few coworkers, one of them identified the marks on my legs previously believed to be skeeter bits as chigger bites. I stopped dead in my tracks and giggled to myself because I figured if nothing else, this was the final step in my Great Southern Initiation/Transformation.

It wasn’t to be.

These were omitted from qualification on a technicality since they were acquired in Texas, not Georgia, so I sighed and moved on. Back to stomping through poison ivy and blackberry brambles, back to clearing a tangled mess of dead limbs and throwing them in the chipper on the waterfront of Nancy Creek in Chastain Park, back to obtaining mystery marks “With Love,” from nature.

My circle gets a square wasn’t seen/found until a few hours later, when I’d finished hurling practice and sat at Steinbeck’s with some teammates and a nice, cool adult beverage. It may resemble a bruise, but it’s not.

The Mc first hypothesized that it might be a tick bite but we (he) quickly ruled that out since it pushed me into warp speed planning my recovery from Lyme disease. His next guess was ringworm, while mine were avian flu or ebola. Or leprosy. I mean, if Mother Nature is going to take me down, it better be something really good.

Guesses? I have three doctor appointments scheduled in the next two weeks, and I don’t need one more for a silly mark on my arm.

Today at 11:30 instead of eating what can only be loosely referred to as “lunch”, I’ll be having scaling/deep cleaning performed on one side of my mouth.

Stay tuned for details and pictures (but sadly no scratch and sniff), and PS you might want to do some multi-tasking and floss while you wait.

I’m just sayin’.

Update: You’ll all be happy to know I’m back and pictures are posted.

I’ve quit the 2nd job just in time for a dentist visit this morning that ran me $130 AFTER insurance. Thanks for that. What else? Two additional appointments in the next two months that will run another $300 after insurance.

I love insurance. I do not love flossing.

Sing it with me now: they call me yuck mouth…

So sexy.

Day 2 - Wednesday, March 7
Weight: 131 / Goal: 120 / Lost: 3
Consumed: 2 cups of coffee, two bowls of Special K with honey and 2% (breakfast & dinner), one green apple with peanut butter, one small plate of s’ghetti
Exercise: None. In bed and asleep at 7:30

Taking my cue/inspiration from Paulie and in attempt to shame myself into submission, I’ve decided to include my daily dietary intake and exercise efforts at the tail of each entry until the muffin top has been eradicated. Extinguished. Erased.

Luckily, I’m starting this little confessional project a day after the Girl Scout Cookies arrived at the office. If I’d written this yesterday I’d have had to confess to eating a box of Somoas for dinner. What.

I was half dressed when I remembered to step on the scale in my led lined bra and britches this morning, so if we subtract 5 pounds for garments and vanity - well - the digital display still showed a number far greater than the 117 I’m used to seeing when I look down.

So without further adieu, the first ever installment of The De-Fatassing of Maigh aka Operation Muffin Top

Day 1 - Tuesday, March 6
Weight: 134 (without subtracting anything) / Goal: 120 / Lost: Zilch
Consumed: 2 cups of coffee, 1 baggie of vending machine trail mix, 1 glass of red wine, 1 pork chop, 1 salad, 2 scoops of chocolate yogurt ice cream stuff and a fraction of my daily water allotment.
Exercise: How many calories does knitting while watching a tivo’ed episode of 24 burn?

I’m hungry.